VadaVaka

For the first time in a very long time, I actually felt something. I don't know how many of you are familiar with Pink Floyd but the one quote i found described me the best was "Comfotably numb". I have recently found this to be false. Everything has been really f'ed up lately but something happened within this near future that changed it all. I found her. we've been friends for a while but i've never quite seen what's been there the entire time. Until now I've lived a life of solitaire. blocked off from anyone and everyone. She is the first person to get me to say anything. My life is pretty f'ed up and I finally found someone that I can be with, she's leaving very soon now. I dunno what I'll do after that. I was hanging out with her tonight. . and really got thinking. I don't know why i'm making this post, I guess it's because none of you will ever know me and i can write how i feel without the worry of being known. I havn't really asked anything of her because i'm afraid of f *****g it all up. (I'm sorry I had a bit to drink tonight, that's why i'm swearing in so many of my posts tonight). I don't have too much to say other than, whathas already been said, I don't know what to do and I had to get a load off my mind and I figured the forums was the best place to do it. I told her tonight how I felt as well (in an e-mail) she has yet to get back to me.



Another note, before now i found no reason to be here i don't know how amny of you have tried this, but I have on more than one occason attempted suicide. I now see how f ***** stupid i was for trying this and see a reason to stay, becausew of this one person. Call me what you will make fun of me all you want for this post but you know what, I don't give a F ***. I felt something tonight for the first time in a long time and anything you say or do can't take that away from me.

Thank you all for having an open ear, I had to say somehting and didn't know where to put it.

(ps. edit the swearing if you want but please don't use emoticons [just somet wierd thing I have I guess, seeing as this is the second time I'm saying this])

It really sucks when I'm the only one up at 2:30 pacific time wanting to play some rico. . .why can't anyone of you guys be up. . jesus!

I was. Heading to work.

Pink Floyd rules, oh yeah and dont let the girl get away!!!

If you have indeed found the one, then you'll be together no matter what, if shes going away, then talk to her over any means possible, eg, phone, MSN, ect. If your talking to her, even if she is far away, it can still seem like shes quite close, dont give up FF, I'm hopeing for you.

Its hard to tell if somoene is the One, it could just be insane puppy love or a very strong sexual or personal connection. Still, i wouldnt drive myself crazy over it. I know what you mean though, im trying to chase my *dream girl* right now to various degrees of success. Thing is, in my mind, he/she can't be the one unless they have mutual fealings about you.

she does have mutual feelings. . but she not too long ago got out of a relationship (she was dumped) and is feeling a little disowned i guess. bottom line I know that even if we stay friends we WILL in fact, stay friends, for a very long time.

are you on stream anymore freefall? i was up that late last night.

lol, I even messaged you asking if you wanted to play. hehe

if it is meant to be it will survive both time and distance

ThisIsTrippy,Dec 18 2003, 12:06 AM Wrote:Its hard to tell if somoene is the One,

that is until you truely find it ;-)

Quote:lol, I even messaged you asking if you wanted to play. hehe

oh, i'm sorry. sadly, i keep forgetting to change my status to online. it's actually just you and netniv i have as steam friends. well, since net doesn't have steam anymore i guess it's just you...lol.

Correction, I have steam, I just can't play without using Software Mode. :/

My steam is anonymity, kerm. Everyone is welcome to add me.

FF, i know it seems pretty bleak now, but you never know how soon you will be with her again. just follow your :heartbeat:

thanks anon..that's kind of you.