So there's a certain someone in I know in England right now that I got pretty close to while she was here. While out with some friends one night she gets drunk and decides it's a good idea to make out with a random guy. I passed up a date on her account. Why do I feel like I'm getting the shortest straw in the hand. On top of this my sister that I havn't spoken to in about 5 months (she's in australia) writes me a friendly hello criticizing my life and tells me everything I'm doing "wrong" I sent her back a pretty nasty letter. My parents are beginning to really get on my nerves. They're about in par with my sister it seems. So as it is, My family thinks I'm a loser and my "girlfriend" can't go a minute without a tongue down her throat. . .
I havn't slept very well in more than 2 weeks, usually about 2/3 hour sleeps some nights I get none. One of my friends is a bastard and I hate him, I won't go into details with that one. I've been lied to, shot down, stabbed in back (not literally), and that same knife was just long enough to pierce my heart a little. God damnit, life's a b****....and now I need a band-aid.
Life is a ***I'm Stupid for Swearing*** to way too many people. I have noticed and talked to people who are older, and i say the hardest time in life is about from 15 - 17. Some go through it surprisingly late in life, and others do it surprsingly early. I cant say when it will get better, I cant say what your life will be like, but i can say that it will get better. I know people who dont talk to their family anymore and are very happy people. gf's come and go for most people, some people end up marrying their high school sweet heart. Whatever road life ends up taking, it will end at a happy intersection if you want it to.
Wait... go through ti... you mean there's an end to it ?
It comes in waves, their is an end to the specific wave, Freefall is at the down part for sure.
I've had too many waves already! now I've learned to ride 'em though and kinda shrug it off no matter what it may be.
freefall, face it: you are on this girl's 'friends' list. you are a gf to her w/ a penis. she doesn't want to make out with you or date you cause she's getting what she wants from you without the work of putting out. namely, you are sensitive to her problems, you listen to her and try to cheer her up when she's feeling down. you boost her self esteem and confidence and that is all she really wants from you...and the worst part is it doesn't matter how good-looking you are. you are a nice guy and nice guys don't get the tounge action. she's going to make out with an asshat who doesn't respect her because she wants to gain that (percieved) admiration and self-worth as a woman regardless of means. you can't make the jump from being her close friend, brother or on-call psychiatrist to being her lover. you will just look like a fool...she may even laugh about you to her gf's...she's probably laughing about you right now.
do yourself a favor: next time she calls you up and wants to talk about her problems, tell her your busy or better yet, let the machine pick up and don't return her phone calls for a while. when she finally gets in touch with you, you make it clear (without stating as such directly cause then you will look like you care anyways) you are not interested in her problems and that she doesn't deserve any special attention from you (even if you feel otherwise)...in other words, act disinterested and talk (monopolize the time, interrupt her in mid-sentence with something irrelavent if you have to...that's serious brownie points btw) about other things you are interested in. then one of two things will happen: she will begin to wonder why you don't put her on a pedestal anymore and it will tap into her curiosity and lack of self-esteem and she may chase you...then you are in control...but don't go into mr. nice guy mode until she gives you the booty. it's that simple. or she just never saw you 'that way' and never cared for you anyhow and you won't see her again. either way, it's a lot better than the 'let's just be friends' mode...which, by far, is the worst mode to be in with a girl you are attracted to. if you want my advice, you are most likely better off taking a mulligan on this one and forgetting about her.
see, men have only one list with regards to women: the 'girls i would do' list and this english fox is high on that list. women have two lists for men: the 'let's just be friends' list and the 'guys that can do me' list. she knows she is high on your list (especially after you asked her on a date which wasn't a good move btw) and she will use that to her advantage. she will get from you the self-confidence to grab the men on her 'guys that can do me' list by placing you high on her 'let's just be friends' list. she played you dude...sorry.
and don't get depressed about any of this. it's certaintly not about how you look or anything, so take comfort in that. just learn from it and be yourself. that's key. if you are blushing all over her and throwing truly undeserved affection towards her...she will read desperation and phoniness and use you like the succubus she is. when you develop a crush on a girl, you have to play it cool and make yourself number one....you are your own top priority and it all...all revolves around you...it's about what you want, not what she or anybody else wants. the chicks see that air of confidence, charisma, self respect and power and they will want you to notice them. and they will do things for you...things that you'll like ;-) . and you may even begin to like yourself more in the process.
sorry for rambling, but i hate to see yet another 'nice guy' get dissed. i'm not saying become an asshat. although you will be guaranteed to get laid as an asshat, you will be selling yourself out and not be getting the sort of women you'll respect and truly cherish. be yourself, realize who is numbero uno and don't let lust or pseudo-romanticism distort who you are. when i see 'nice guys' fawning over some hottie that they won't ever ever get any action from (again, nothing to do with their looks or appearance...although it's funnier with ugly guys...lol)...i laugh because they are not men, they are puppy-dogs...and puppies are funny^_^. anyways, this is the last i will ever speak on this topic...i'm no missionary but it's just sad that suckers aka 'nice guys' are born every minute.
Yeah... I'm one of those "nice guys" and sometimes it blows. In truth I get along better with chicks than guys, and that can be a problem usually. I've had a friend with benefits who would never commit (although she's a screwball anyway, glad no relationship came out of it), several girls that I was interested in and they seemed interested in me, but either they were really just in it for friendship or something along those lines. Luckily I never got sucked into the used category... and I've got a very stable relationship going now. Nice guys may finish last, but later in life they can finish best.
Stay the way you are FF and you will do fine. Don't play any games and you will get plenty of respect and with a girl that like's you for real. but sorry to say, you will find a love, a career, have kids, but the IRS will always be there to take you down a notch or two.
I disagree partly with what asm said. I dont think its so black and white. I dont think we can say that all women fit into 2 categories and men into one. There is just too many men and women to be summed up like that so simply and shortly. I dont know if anyone else got this message from his post but i saw a don't be friends with women. Granted he did say if you are attracted to them. One of my close female friends I was attracted to when we met and wanted something more then friendship. She didnt, but I was so infatuated with her that I decided to stay friends. Today I dont look at her as someone i want an intimate relationship, we are just good friends now. I think if you want an intimate relationship with someone that it can only work if you have the ability to be friends, I dont mean afterwards, I mean they have to have the qualities you want in a close friend and the qualities you want in a lover. That relationship will work much better then the one about sex, or the one about friendship with the occasional sex on the side. If you cant be friends, how can you expect to be something more?
No, you read wrong anon. What acid said was that when you get close to certain women, they will park the relationship there, as they get security, comfort and reliability out of a guy. Then, they'll have others who can treat them real bad and they'll date / sleep with them with hardly a thought.
Sometimes you can get on both lists... but for a lot of women, there will always be two lists, otherwise you'd never get a lot of the 'lets be friends' situations. At the end of the day, what you have to way up is, whether the woman in question is worth the effort and time of the friendship without needing that 'extra'. I know I have a few friends around the world like that.
she just sent me an e-mail this morning telling me she loves me a lot and misses everything about me. HAH!
I just got a vibe from asms post.
You dont need a cheater though freefall, that much we know for certian. Stay strong and we are here for moral support.
Guy to call for help with girls = Wanksta Aka. Italian StallionB)
no offense to anyone or anything but I didn't really ask for advice. . I was jsut trying to take a load off my mind. . . If I wanted advice I'd have to sit down for a good half-hour to tell you all the details which I really don't prefer doing.
Edit: ^that's not supposeed to sound so bastardish. . .if that's a word. whatever you get point!
I think on the inside you DID want advice from these people. It's alright man
to cry for help sometimes. I'm betting you communicate with alot of these people
more than your physical friends. If you wanna say it....we listening...
Even if you werent looking for advice, its in these good peoples nature to try and help out everyone when they need it.
feel free to air your feelings anytime FF, you will probably still get unwanted feedback, but you don't have to use any of it, just keep in mind some people have been through the same experiences and just want to make sure you don't have to suffer needlessly (although some people might be a touch jaded by thier own experiences)
and good luck with the woman in your life
hehe. . I never really read through these posts mostly just scanned 'em. . .asm! we weren't "just friends" we were actually going out you see. But for the most part, .asm is right, so f*** it.
FreeFall,Feb 27 2004, 09:08 PM Wrote:hehe. . I never really read through these posts mostly just scanned 'em. . .asm! we weren't "just friends" we were actually going out you see. But for the most part, .asm is right, so f*** it.
How long where you and .asm going out then ?