Cloud! - Printable Version +- VadaVaka (https://vadavaka.com/forums) +-- Forum: General Forums (https://vadavaka.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=5) +--- Forum: Art Section (https://vadavaka.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=41) +---- Forum: Writers (https://vadavaka.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=24) +---- Thread: Cloud! (/showthread.php?tid=4414) |
Cloud! - Slasher186 - 11-15-2005 Hey, Rws and I have been working on this and we need some help. The wind blows, the leaves fall The crunch of leaves beneath your feet, I can't help but feel they're victims all The chilly air and the chimney smoke The wind whispers without note The feeling of feathers, the wind pushes you as if there's something to gain This brings forth a feeling I cannot evoke For fall touches me deeply in a way I can not explain As if looking directly into your loverâs eyes It canât but hurt to say âGood-bye.â We are willing for any revision you wish to make. Cloud! - Rulepool2 - 11-16-2005 No idea if this is what you were going for but just an idea The wind blows, as the leaves fall With crunch of leaves beneath our feet; I can't help but feel they are victims all The chilly air and the chimney smoke The wind whispers without a note The feeling of feathers with wind pushing you as if there's something to gain. This brings forth a feeling I cannot evoke For fall touches me deeply in a way I canât explain; As if looking directly into your loverâs eyes It canât but hurt to say âGood-bye.â Cloud! - CloudFuel - 11-16-2005 Hehehe NOT BAD! You've learned well my child...:)jk, great job though! |