04-18-2003, 12:35 AM
***WARNING - By reading this post you put yourself at risk of vomiting, depression, and or thought***
So I'm sitting here with nothing to do and no school tomorrow...
Dangerously mulling over the events that have led me up to this point in my life. Strangely enough, I don't
feel disappointed in myself, or in the hand I've been dealt so willingly while another soul awaits another. I
feel at ease for the first time in my life...truly careless. Oblivious to my own cynicism...my own hate and
selfishness. Setting aside my kindness...my love and generosity. For the moment I am me, and no one
else. Simply the mind of a person who has yet to find a purpose in life, but knowingly continues as a blind
messiah. No longer the hypocrite that I was. I am unbiased to all of these thoughts flowing through my
mind. I slowly edge towards my destination alongside other lost souls. Never knowing where we're going,
or where we came from. But the subconscious pull never stops leading us onward. The road narrows and
the others fall behind. But still I continue, not phased by what lies along the sides of this narrow road. The
feelings I had before slowly return as I realize I am nearing my destination. Fear of who or what I may meet
at the end of all of this. As the fear envelopes me, the shadows of my past melt away. Without my
knowing, my pace slows. I edge my way towards the cliff just beyond the end. I am blind...and I am unsure
of myself. Will I miss my end when I'm finally there? I am cold and alone...but I know this is only because of
the blindfold over my eyes. Whether I miss my end or not...I know that...when I take off the blindfold I won't
be the only one there. And I'll never have to be alone again.
...I'll live for the sake of living...
,Abe
So I'm sitting here with nothing to do and no school tomorrow...
Dangerously mulling over the events that have led me up to this point in my life. Strangely enough, I don't
feel disappointed in myself, or in the hand I've been dealt so willingly while another soul awaits another. I
feel at ease for the first time in my life...truly careless. Oblivious to my own cynicism...my own hate and
selfishness. Setting aside my kindness...my love and generosity. For the moment I am me, and no one
else. Simply the mind of a person who has yet to find a purpose in life, but knowingly continues as a blind
messiah. No longer the hypocrite that I was. I am unbiased to all of these thoughts flowing through my
mind. I slowly edge towards my destination alongside other lost souls. Never knowing where we're going,
or where we came from. But the subconscious pull never stops leading us onward. The road narrows and
the others fall behind. But still I continue, not phased by what lies along the sides of this narrow road. The
feelings I had before slowly return as I realize I am nearing my destination. Fear of who or what I may meet
at the end of all of this. As the fear envelopes me, the shadows of my past melt away. Without my
knowing, my pace slows. I edge my way towards the cliff just beyond the end. I am blind...and I am unsure
of myself. Will I miss my end when I'm finally there? I am cold and alone...but I know this is only because of
the blindfold over my eyes. Whether I miss my end or not...I know that...when I take off the blindfold I won't
be the only one there. And I'll never have to be alone again.
...I'll live for the sake of living...
,Abe
