12-08-2003, 09:39 PM
Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen. I'm with the Cold Man's Interview.
Turtle: I'm here with the famous, kindness in every person's heart guy named Santa Clause.
Santa I just want to say you're my biggest fan and I hope you will last throughout history.
Santa: Well thank you, Turtle. It's kids like you that make me stay around so long.
Turtle: I just want to start the first question with, how do you do it? How do you happen to make all the boys and girls gifts in a year and deliver them all in one night's time?
Santa: Well Turtle, it's not the easiest task in the world. The older I get the harder it becomes. My elves are reaching retirement and it's getting harder and harder to find elves, so we are looking in on the idea of automated elves. The reighndeer are a thing of the past also. Now we are 100% jet propelled. That really made the things go faster. The one part that has really helped me is the Subway Diet. Made me thinner so I could shoot down the chimney's. Thanks to Jerry I've lost 25 pounds and still loosing.
Turtle: That's nice to hear about you loosing weight but what about the rosey-cheeked, plump guy that's full of cheer?
Santa: Like I said I'm getting older. I'm needing to loose weight because of this heart condition I have. The rosey red cheeks I guess can stay, but this is a society now where fat people aren't wanted. So it's time for me to loose my jello belly.
Turtle: Are you ever going to get a replacement Santa?
Santa: Well, I've thought about doing that once or twice before. Last one I chose was Saddam Hussein. He gave the country of Iraq a turn around and got them into a big war. Once that happened I just had to give him up as Santa Clause. Boy do I miss those rosey-red cheeks though.
Turtle: How's the Mrs. Clause, Santa?
Santa: Don't know. She said she hated the cold and was leaving me for my brother Satan. She said it was warmer where he was at and would never have to worry about falling on the ice again.
Turtle: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that Santa. I hope everything works out for you in the time it takes to get ready for Christmas.
Forgive me if I've already put this up.
Turtle: I'm here with the famous, kindness in every person's heart guy named Santa Clause.
Santa I just want to say you're my biggest fan and I hope you will last throughout history.
Santa: Well thank you, Turtle. It's kids like you that make me stay around so long.
Turtle: I just want to start the first question with, how do you do it? How do you happen to make all the boys and girls gifts in a year and deliver them all in one night's time?
Santa: Well Turtle, it's not the easiest task in the world. The older I get the harder it becomes. My elves are reaching retirement and it's getting harder and harder to find elves, so we are looking in on the idea of automated elves. The reighndeer are a thing of the past also. Now we are 100% jet propelled. That really made the things go faster. The one part that has really helped me is the Subway Diet. Made me thinner so I could shoot down the chimney's. Thanks to Jerry I've lost 25 pounds and still loosing.
Turtle: That's nice to hear about you loosing weight but what about the rosey-cheeked, plump guy that's full of cheer?
Santa: Like I said I'm getting older. I'm needing to loose weight because of this heart condition I have. The rosey red cheeks I guess can stay, but this is a society now where fat people aren't wanted. So it's time for me to loose my jello belly.
Turtle: Are you ever going to get a replacement Santa?
Santa: Well, I've thought about doing that once or twice before. Last one I chose was Saddam Hussein. He gave the country of Iraq a turn around and got them into a big war. Once that happened I just had to give him up as Santa Clause. Boy do I miss those rosey-red cheeks though.
Turtle: How's the Mrs. Clause, Santa?
Santa: Don't know. She said she hated the cold and was leaving me for my brother Satan. She said it was warmer where he was at and would never have to worry about falling on the ice again.
Turtle: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that Santa. I hope everything works out for you in the time it takes to get ready for Christmas.
Forgive me if I've already put this up.