When wha and I were at camp, the group you're with has to do a song or skit infront of the entire camp, us and a few others wrote this.
I'd have to give u a few quick definitions about things we do, so you can get all the jokes.
regatta-large competition among every group in the camp, we've won it like 5 years straight, but whos counting?
In contrast to previous years, our skit this year will contain no nudity, sex, homosexuality references, gangland style executions, innuendo, gratuitous violence, insanity, lowbrow humor, sheep, cheap jokes about the properties of bran, heroin, car crashes, horseplay, virgin sacrifices, running on the dock, urination and its friend defection, bad puns, flatulence, all core pornography, an analysis of the varied applications of cheese, spam, repetition of the words âtit mouseâ, the raising and incineration of Swiss flags, political partisanship, adult situations, frequently asking âdoes that vibrate?â, singing of the lumberjack song, plagiarizing the tragically hip, shout outs to my boyz in the hood, props of any kind, repetition of the word âbuellerâ [someone from the audience stands up and shoots âwhat] BUELLER! In appropriate use of the garbage barge, encouraging squirrels to develop a taste for meat, improper use of illegal immigrants, under aged gambling, Indian casinos, drive through furniture stores, highway robbery, singing the anthem of the USSR, saluting the flag with one finger, witchcraft and the eating of children, claiming to have horns, unsanctioned use of expired peanut butter, retransmitting a broadcast without the expressed written consent of major league baseball, burning the French in effigy, making crass obvious jokes about bush, corrupting todayâs youth with rock music, diving from a tower into a moist towelette on a dare, the eating and re-eating of corn, replacing sisters birth control pills with tic-tacs, wanton regatta kick-assery, inaccurate impressions of def-jam comics, luring jay leno into a bear trap, impersonating the pope for the purposes of black mail, being white IM SORRY ALREADY! Jealous mockery of Hugh Hefner, taunting Satan, day dreaming about Richard Simmons, making Parcheesi look cool, selling your soul and hiring Johnny Cochran to get it back, white guys rapping, singing out of key, manufacturing weapons of mass destruction, doing that crazy thing you do, being the lord of the dance, hitting on the staff and hitting hard, anything at gun point, spiking the lake, monologues, enslaving races of mole men, saddling and riding jockeys for irony, betting on Mathew Perryâs weight, bragging about Americaâs double hockey silvers at salt lake, tossing midgets for fun and profit, frag stealing, unleashing a plague of locust on the staff, and most importantly none of this, marijuana cigarettes, also known as joint, blunt, spliff, reefer, wacky tobakey, weed, pot, grass, Mary Jane or a secret brownie ingredient, and now please enjoy our skit.
Stage directions:
Two guys walk up and stand beside the narrator, after five seconds, the two guys standing beside the narrator and raise their right arms (nazi salute). After a second the narrator smacks the arm down. After 3 more seconds the narrator says, âthanks you, and goodnight.â
I'd have to give u a few quick definitions about things we do, so you can get all the jokes.
regatta-large competition among every group in the camp, we've won it like 5 years straight, but whos counting?
In contrast to previous years, our skit this year will contain no nudity, sex, homosexuality references, gangland style executions, innuendo, gratuitous violence, insanity, lowbrow humor, sheep, cheap jokes about the properties of bran, heroin, car crashes, horseplay, virgin sacrifices, running on the dock, urination and its friend defection, bad puns, flatulence, all core pornography, an analysis of the varied applications of cheese, spam, repetition of the words âtit mouseâ, the raising and incineration of Swiss flags, political partisanship, adult situations, frequently asking âdoes that vibrate?â, singing of the lumberjack song, plagiarizing the tragically hip, shout outs to my boyz in the hood, props of any kind, repetition of the word âbuellerâ [someone from the audience stands up and shoots âwhat] BUELLER! In appropriate use of the garbage barge, encouraging squirrels to develop a taste for meat, improper use of illegal immigrants, under aged gambling, Indian casinos, drive through furniture stores, highway robbery, singing the anthem of the USSR, saluting the flag with one finger, witchcraft and the eating of children, claiming to have horns, unsanctioned use of expired peanut butter, retransmitting a broadcast without the expressed written consent of major league baseball, burning the French in effigy, making crass obvious jokes about bush, corrupting todayâs youth with rock music, diving from a tower into a moist towelette on a dare, the eating and re-eating of corn, replacing sisters birth control pills with tic-tacs, wanton regatta kick-assery, inaccurate impressions of def-jam comics, luring jay leno into a bear trap, impersonating the pope for the purposes of black mail, being white IM SORRY ALREADY! Jealous mockery of Hugh Hefner, taunting Satan, day dreaming about Richard Simmons, making Parcheesi look cool, selling your soul and hiring Johnny Cochran to get it back, white guys rapping, singing out of key, manufacturing weapons of mass destruction, doing that crazy thing you do, being the lord of the dance, hitting on the staff and hitting hard, anything at gun point, spiking the lake, monologues, enslaving races of mole men, saddling and riding jockeys for irony, betting on Mathew Perryâs weight, bragging about Americaâs double hockey silvers at salt lake, tossing midgets for fun and profit, frag stealing, unleashing a plague of locust on the staff, and most importantly none of this, marijuana cigarettes, also known as joint, blunt, spliff, reefer, wacky tobakey, weed, pot, grass, Mary Jane or a secret brownie ingredient, and now please enjoy our skit.
Stage directions:
Two guys walk up and stand beside the narrator, after five seconds, the two guys standing beside the narrator and raise their right arms (nazi salute). After a second the narrator smacks the arm down. After 3 more seconds the narrator says, âthanks you, and goodnight.â
