08-04-2003, 02:09 AM
Probably the worst week I have ever had, it just came to a head tonight. Let's just put it this way... I am such a loser that I messed things up with the best friend I ever had. I believe this will be the first time in about a month that we won't have our usual late-night phone conversations that last many hours, sometimes right until sunrise. Yes, she is female. Yes, I am male. Yes, we got too close. Did I mention that she used to go out with my best male friend, and they are still in love with each other? We're all leaving for college within the next month and a half, so normally I'd say "Well, I f'ed things up, but the distance between us would have messed it up anyway." But she's going to be less than an hour from me... we were planning on visiting like at least every other weekend... if she just stops talking to me, I don't have all that many friends to begin with, I'll feel sick for a longass time.
Honestly, I believe eventually things will chill a bit, and maybe even in the future we'll look back and say "man we were idiots." Even if we don't recover, I know I'll deal and get over it. But just the shitty feelings running through me right now... goddamn this sucks. I'm still debating on what was worse, the physical pain of being in the ICU for about a week with a heart disease, or this crap you humans like to call "emotional" pain.
Honestly, I believe eventually things will chill a bit, and maybe even in the future we'll look back and say "man we were idiots." Even if we don't recover, I know I'll deal and get over it. But just the shitty feelings running through me right now... goddamn this sucks. I'm still debating on what was worse, the physical pain of being in the ICU for about a week with a heart disease, or this crap you humans like to call "emotional" pain.