MORE JOKES

[fritoman]

Due to increasing products liability litigation,
> > > > American liquor manufacturers have accepted the
> > > > FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels
> > > > be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol
> > > > containers:
> > > >
> > > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you
> > > > wondering what the hell happened to your bra and
> > > > panties.
> > > >
> > > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
> > > > think you are whispering when you are not.
> > > >
> > > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major
> > > > factor in dancing like a retard.
> > > >
> > > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to
> > > > tell your friends over and over again that you love
> > > > them.
> > > >
> > > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to
> > > > think you can sing.
> > > >
> > > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to
> > > > believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to
> > > > telephone them at four in the morning.
> > > >
> > > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
> > > > think you can logically converse with other members
> > > > of the opposite sex without spitting.
> > > >
> > > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading
> > > > cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead,
> > > > knees and lower back.
> > > >
> > > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the
> > > > illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and
> > > > better looking than most people.
> > > >
> > > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to
> > > > think people are laughing WITH you.
> > > >
> > > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause
> > > > pregnancy.