06-09-2003, 09:28 AM
Alcohol Warning
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. (did they hear me?)
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.(and increases the desire to get up on a stage so everyone can see us look stupid)
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. (But I really really do love u all!)
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. (What are you saying? I don't sound like J-Lo?)
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back. (ok this one I don't get)
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. (cause we are DUH!)
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. (wait that hurts!)
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you can tipe real gode.
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. (did they hear me?)
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.(and increases the desire to get up on a stage so everyone can see us look stupid)
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. (But I really really do love u all!)
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. (What are you saying? I don't sound like J-Lo?)
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back. (ok this one I don't get)
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. (cause we are DUH!)
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. (wait that hurts!)
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you can tipe real gode.