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Jokes
#8
> After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the
> mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need
> repair or correction. The pilot completes and then the mechanics read and
> correct the problem. They then respond in writing on the lower half of the
> form what remedial action was taken and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets
> before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and
> engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance
> complaints and problems, as submitted by QANTAS pilots and the solution
> recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major
> airline that has never had an accident.
> KEY:
> P = The problem logged by the pilot. S = The solution and action
> taken by the engineers.
>
> PROBLEMS AND SOLUTIONS
> P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
>
> S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
>
> P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
>
> S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
>
> P: Something loose in cockpit.
>
> S: Something tightened in cockpit.
>
> P: Dead bugs on windshield.
>
> S: Live bugs on back-order.
>
> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
>
> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
>
> S: Evidence removed.
>
> P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
>
> S: DME volume set to more believable level.
>
> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
>
> S: That's what they're there for.
>
> P: IFF inoperative.
>
> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
>
> P: Suspected crack in windshield.
>
> S: Suspect you're right.
>
> P: Number 3 engine missing.
>
> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
>
> P: Aircraft handles funny.
>
> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
>
> P: Target radar hums.
>
> S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.
>
> P: Mouse in cockpit
>
> S: Cat installed
>
>
>
>
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Messages In This Thread
Jokes - by Gwarsbane - 06-06-2003, 10:10 AM
Jokes - by Gwarsbane - 06-06-2003, 10:16 AM
Jokes - by Gwarsbane - 06-06-2003, 10:17 AM
Jokes - by Gwarsbane - 06-06-2003, 10:28 AM
Jokes - by Beastie - 06-08-2003, 11:57 PM
Jokes - by GRITS - 06-09-2003, 09:28 AM
Jokes - by fritoman - 06-10-2003, 12:38 PM
Jokes - by fritoman - 06-10-2003, 12:46 PM
Jokes - by Scrye - 06-12-2003, 10:28 AM
Jokes - by Scrye - 06-12-2003, 10:36 AM
Jokes - by fritoman - 06-12-2003, 03:09 PM
Jokes - by SoulEvan - 06-12-2003, 03:14 PM
Jokes - by g-boy - 06-12-2003, 05:16 PM
Jokes - by Wha? - 06-12-2003, 05:31 PM
Jokes - by SoulEvan - 06-12-2003, 06:58 PM
Jokes - by Scrye - 06-12-2003, 07:08 PM
Jokes - by Chentvin - 06-13-2003, 11:30 AM
Jokes - by SoulEvan - 06-13-2003, 12:11 PM
Jokes - by fritoman - 06-21-2003, 04:49 PM
Jokes - by sage_4 - 06-22-2003, 06:01 PM
Jokes - by brokend - 06-22-2003, 11:49 PM
Jokes - by Gwarsbane - 06-23-2003, 11:34 AM
Jokes - by Gwarsbane - 06-24-2003, 09:51 AM
Jokes - by brokend - 06-24-2003, 01:12 PM
Jokes - by sage_4 - 06-24-2003, 09:23 PM
Jokes - by Gwarsbane - 06-25-2003, 11:26 AM
Jokes - by PIX - 06-25-2003, 12:15 PM
Jokes - by g-boy - 06-25-2003, 01:34 PM
Jokes - by g-boy - 07-01-2003, 05:00 PM

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