07-04-2003, 04:54 PM
Well, it's one of those gender biases. It is also that neither sex understands the other at all. For a woman to say she's uncomfortable and he needs to control himself is sort of naive, you have to understand how guys work. We look... it is really hard not to, and it's not even a sexual thing for the most part. That being said, if a dude just stands and stares very obviously during the whole conversation, then it is more about a problem with attention than perversion. If he keeps looking every so often, especially if she has a decently sized chest, then I don't necessarily blame him.
The problem lies in the fact that girls/women can look at a guy without looking like they are looking. Guys, on the other hand, are obvious, and will turn their whole head and even the body. I will notice when I'm walking with friends at Six Flags that the girls will suddenly say "damn, he was hot" and they didn't even seem to move their eyes. Guys, on the other hand, will have to search, and I noticed a hot chick walk by these two guys, they turned their heads, and as she walked past them, they turned around and watched for a few seconds.
Anyway, no, he shouldn't have been fired, it could have been looked into more. Just the fact that this woman made a stink over it gives me the idea that she's a bit uptight. One of those women who thinks every man is a pig (or beast for that matter). My question is, if he was like making an effort not to look, like at the lights or a table or something, would she have felt uncomfortable? And by the way, no matter how much men like body parts, the face is still the number one priority, and especially the eyes and lips. So if he stares at her eyes and thinks "wow, what beautiful eyes" and then probes her face, and has sexual thoughts, is that any worse than staring at her chest just because he is marvelling at the size and shape? Obviously it's a cultural thing, it's not impolite to look at someone's face when talking to them, but you get my point. You also have to look at intent... this guy was not doing it to make her feel uncomfortable, or to make any advances. By the way, grits, I don't think a guy would mind a woman staring at any of his body parts, he'd be flattered. It's one of those things where if a guy tells a girl she has a nice ass, he'll get slapped or something, whereas if a girl did it to a guy, he'd say thanks and be on his way, enjoying the compliment. Although I get your point, it may seem like she's not listening. But here's the important thing... people will never talk. Talk about bad communication, I get the interpretation that she never expressed her problems with him. He could have apologized, said he'd try harder not to look, he was listening though, and next time she shouldn't show so much cleavage.
The problem lies in the fact that girls/women can look at a guy without looking like they are looking. Guys, on the other hand, are obvious, and will turn their whole head and even the body. I will notice when I'm walking with friends at Six Flags that the girls will suddenly say "damn, he was hot" and they didn't even seem to move their eyes. Guys, on the other hand, will have to search, and I noticed a hot chick walk by these two guys, they turned their heads, and as she walked past them, they turned around and watched for a few seconds.
Anyway, no, he shouldn't have been fired, it could have been looked into more. Just the fact that this woman made a stink over it gives me the idea that she's a bit uptight. One of those women who thinks every man is a pig (or beast for that matter). My question is, if he was like making an effort not to look, like at the lights or a table or something, would she have felt uncomfortable? And by the way, no matter how much men like body parts, the face is still the number one priority, and especially the eyes and lips. So if he stares at her eyes and thinks "wow, what beautiful eyes" and then probes her face, and has sexual thoughts, is that any worse than staring at her chest just because he is marvelling at the size and shape? Obviously it's a cultural thing, it's not impolite to look at someone's face when talking to them, but you get my point. You also have to look at intent... this guy was not doing it to make her feel uncomfortable, or to make any advances. By the way, grits, I don't think a guy would mind a woman staring at any of his body parts, he'd be flattered. It's one of those things where if a guy tells a girl she has a nice ass, he'll get slapped or something, whereas if a girl did it to a guy, he'd say thanks and be on his way, enjoying the compliment. Although I get your point, it may seem like she's not listening. But here's the important thing... people will never talk. Talk about bad communication, I get the interpretation that she never expressed her problems with him. He could have apologized, said he'd try harder not to look, he was listening though, and next time she shouldn't show so much cleavage.