07-04-2003, 07:46 PM
This is from somethingawful.com
"It's that time of year once again for Americans like me to honor our country's independence by blowing our hands off with Black Cats, waving the flag back and forth while staggering drunkenly on our front lawn, and yelling "woooooooooooooo" whenever something bright appears in the sky. I caught myself cheering on the rising sun early this morning and, after a brief moment of embarrassment, I realized that the sun was just God's way of celebrating how completely awesome the United States is. After that I cheered the sun until my vision went dark and I had to put a washcloth over my face for an hour or so. I'm still seeing stars which means all I need to do now is stare at a couple of halogen tubes and I'll have a virtual American flag superimposed over whatever I see. If I could only bottle that kind of patriotism I would be able to sell it at Wal-Mart and become a very rich man."
![[Image: 07-04-2003-eagle.jpg]](http://www.somethingawful.com/inserts/news/images/07-2003/07-04-2003-eagle.jpg)
In memory of americas fallen heroes.
"It's that time of year once again for Americans like me to honor our country's independence by blowing our hands off with Black Cats, waving the flag back and forth while staggering drunkenly on our front lawn, and yelling "woooooooooooooo" whenever something bright appears in the sky. I caught myself cheering on the rising sun early this morning and, after a brief moment of embarrassment, I realized that the sun was just God's way of celebrating how completely awesome the United States is. After that I cheered the sun until my vision went dark and I had to put a washcloth over my face for an hour or so. I'm still seeing stars which means all I need to do now is stare at a couple of halogen tubes and I'll have a virtual American flag superimposed over whatever I see. If I could only bottle that kind of patriotism I would be able to sell it at Wal-Mart and become a very rich man."
In memory of americas fallen heroes.