Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 50?
A: Your honor.
Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad?
A: Senator.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?
A: Depends on how thin you slice them.
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: When lawyers die, why are they buried in a hole 36 feet deep?
A: Because down deep, they are all nice guys!
Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
Q: Have you heard about the lawyers word processor?
A: No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.
Q: How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
Q: Why did the post office recall the new lawyer stamps?
A: Because people could not tell which side to spit on.
***************************************************************************
An old Italian woman is riding the elevator in a very lavish New York
City Office Building.
A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator and smelling like
expensive perfume turns to the old Italian woman and says arrogantly,...
"Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"
The next young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator and also very
arrogantly turns to the old Italian woman and says,... "Chanel No. 5,
$150 an ounce!"
About three floors later, the old Italian woman has reached her
destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she
looks both beautiful women in the eye, she bends over, and farts...
"Broccoli - 49 cents a pound!!!"
A: Your honor.
Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad?
A: Senator.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?
A: Depends on how thin you slice them.
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: When lawyers die, why are they buried in a hole 36 feet deep?
A: Because down deep, they are all nice guys!
Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
Q: Have you heard about the lawyers word processor?
A: No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.
Q: How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
Q: Why did the post office recall the new lawyer stamps?
A: Because people could not tell which side to spit on.
***************************************************************************
An old Italian woman is riding the elevator in a very lavish New York
City Office Building.
A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator and smelling like
expensive perfume turns to the old Italian woman and says arrogantly,...
"Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"
The next young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator and also very
arrogantly turns to the old Italian woman and says,... "Chanel No. 5,
$150 an ounce!"
About three floors later, the old Italian woman has reached her
destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she
looks both beautiful women in the eye, she bends over, and farts...
"Broccoli - 49 cents a pound!!!"