10-27-2004, 12:01 PM
7 reasons not to mess with a child!
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said
it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because
even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The
little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the
teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was
physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I
will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl
replied, "Then you ask him".
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each
child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what
the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher
paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without
missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They
will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy
Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches
us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one
little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your
hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do
something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns
white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and
then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how
nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the
teacher, She's dead."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my
head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in
the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am
standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my
feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and! posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God
is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of
the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had
written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said
it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because
even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The
little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the
teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was
physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I
will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl
replied, "Then you ask him".
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each
child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what
the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher
paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without
missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They
will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy
Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches
us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one
little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your
hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do
something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns
white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and
then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how
nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the
teacher, She's dead."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my
head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in
the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am
standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my
feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and! posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God
is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of
the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had
written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples