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Snow
#1
I don't remember the last time i cried. it's been years, I don't remember what for or how it happened, but either way, this was real. these tears the cold hard floor. when you find yourself alone, facing the sky and the stars you question a lot. Maybe it's the wine. It's as good of an excuse as any right?
The past, or the future, they're the same. Time can't be altered, all our thoughts and feelings, those are personal. You can see what you want, think what you want. And you don't know what you've lost until it really hits you. It's been a year since the year before it and before it. But this time, this time is different.
The heart, the central muscle in the body, also a symbol for love. this same heart, cracked in two, also a symbol for pain. Anyone who's worn a bandage knows they can't stay forever, a temporary solution. A solution none the less. But one day you find yourself, lying on the bathroom floor. Five drops, that's how much i cried. At least two more while writing this.
A conclusion, an absolution, that's all I want. But what i need is a completely different monster. It has been at least 3 years now, winter being the worst of the seasons, and as luck would have it, she's coming back in december. Another cheerful christmas. I know it's my fault, I can see the blame. And all this, what I'm left with, it's empty. But what isn't. She is, lord knows I am. And yet, I've seen my chances, all too many given and all too many lost.
Dreams are dreams. All my hopes and wishes are dreams. And all that could've been are dreams. In dreams, anything can happen, but what if those dreams never come?
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