Seems people are getting into posting their stuff. Main reason I haven't put anything up is because I don't have a lot of recently completed works. I'd always say it was because I had school stuff to write, no time to do my personal things, although that isn't valid right now because I graduated almost two months ago. Anyway, here is an essay I wrote to apply to UC's over a year ago (I wrote it about 6 months before I actually applied). I didn't come up with a title, since they called them all a "Personal Statement" and a title couldn't be included. Anyway, comments and thoughts appreciated, and if you want me to explain any of what I wrote, background or whatever, ask away.
Perhaps this has occurred to you a few times in your lifetime, when you are attempting to sleep and your mind is inundated with thoughts. This is a nightly routine for my unique mind, my particular world that has been created in my head. In November of 2000, I could not help but to think continually, nothing constructive or productive in any way, just random thoughts. There are many events that shape our lives, many have shaped mine, and more will continue to form the mold of my existence in time. The most influential event has brought my mind into a spin that is just beginning to straighten out, giving a clear perspective of my potential future. The event I intend to describe was a potentially fatal situation, something that will always be a factor in someoneâs life.
I do not fool myself into thinking that my situation was unique, that I had an experience that no one else ever will have the displeasure of experiencing. Around Halloween in the year 2000, I began to feel severe pain in my chest, along with flu symptoms. On the night of Halloween, I was hospitalized for fear that there was excess fluid in my pericardium. After an echocardiogram, it was clearly worse. My heart would be described to me later, after I had recovered, to be much like that of a âninety-year-old man.â I had an illness known as myocarditis. I still do not know to this day, with the constant blood samples they took, what truly caused this. To be honest, it really does not matter anymore. I was hospitalized for nine days, and for a week my prognosis was simply unknown. My cardiologist expected a stay that would last weeks, perhaps even months. She called the hospital just after I was released, and she was amazed to find I was gone, and she was almost scared it was premature. It was true, instead of being permanently disabled or receiving a heart transplant, I continued to recover and was declared fully recovered less than a year later.
And so the thoughts began. For the next few nights I spent at home, in my own bed, no beeping, no nurses, no drugs being pumped in through intravenous lines, I could not help but wonder. Sometimes I questioned why I was saved, whereas another patient my age in Bakersfield was hospitalized for two years. Am I really that worth it? As I pondered this, it occurred to me that it did not matter. I was being preached to that it was a miracle and that God saved me, and so forth. I cannot believe anything except for my own feelings on the matter, and I have discovered that all that matters is to do something with what you have. Life cannot be lived by wasting away as an uneaten apple would, nor can it be lived as a squirrel dancing across a busy street, putting one in harmâs way until he/she is extinguished forever. Instead of worrying, or trying to live my life like I will die tomorrow, I am going to live my life like I will die an old man with a family, and that family will be well supported. Ultimately, my goal is to not simply exist like a stone created by Meursaultâs ashes, but to plan for the future, to live for the future, to realize my decisions now will create the path that is ahead of me. There is no fate, we create our fate, we live it, and believe it was there all along.
Certain things are necessary in life, and I try to adhere to the necessary attributes in my life, a life that has just begun. One of the necessities is humor, in any shape or form, anything that makes one laugh. Nothing makes anyone feel better than to give a good joke, no matter how stupid it is, if it creates a smile it has done its job. I have my friends, I have my life, what is there to do but laugh? What is left except for largest step I will ever take, into college life to develop and fix the photo in one swift motion? What do I want to do? I want to help people, I want to stop criminals, perhaps this can be done by attaining a degree in psychology or biology and working in forensics. I want to capture life, I want people to see the world through my eyes, and perhaps this means I should be a photographer. I want to declare my thoughts, express my imagination, and so should I be a writer? Not only do I want to do these things, I will do these things, no matter the obstacle. People like to stop and spend years removing the obstacle, instead of moving on and avoiding it like a running back in football or an Olympic hurdler.
These are my feelings, my brief thoughts, the basis of my life. There are obviously more complexities, and I write about it all the time. I can carry on conversations for hours with friends, and some of the most inspirational and amazing things can be said, such as analogies and allegories, quotes to be remembered, true revelations on life. âOne man may stay in the back of the restaurant, waiting for a free handout, while the other steps through the front door, sits down, and is offered a $20 meal on the house. He stares at it for a moment, and instead of having a relaxing dinner, he gets up and walks away.â My friend and I thought of this as a metaphor for how some people approach the opposite sex. I have seen it in so many other contexts, sometimes just as life in general. Most of us live this way, either we wait for life to hand us whatever it offers, or we try to seize the opportunity, but then we do something to lose it without realizing nor appreciating the real gift we had. One could say that I want my life to be different, and I will try. There is no end for my near future, my life will continue to grow, to improve, to work for the benefit of others until the inevitable end comes, the credits of the movie to be read. Do not walk out of the theater just because you do not like the first few minutes of the movie, you never know what will happen next.
Perhaps this has occurred to you a few times in your lifetime, when you are attempting to sleep and your mind is inundated with thoughts. This is a nightly routine for my unique mind, my particular world that has been created in my head. In November of 2000, I could not help but to think continually, nothing constructive or productive in any way, just random thoughts. There are many events that shape our lives, many have shaped mine, and more will continue to form the mold of my existence in time. The most influential event has brought my mind into a spin that is just beginning to straighten out, giving a clear perspective of my potential future. The event I intend to describe was a potentially fatal situation, something that will always be a factor in someoneâs life.
I do not fool myself into thinking that my situation was unique, that I had an experience that no one else ever will have the displeasure of experiencing. Around Halloween in the year 2000, I began to feel severe pain in my chest, along with flu symptoms. On the night of Halloween, I was hospitalized for fear that there was excess fluid in my pericardium. After an echocardiogram, it was clearly worse. My heart would be described to me later, after I had recovered, to be much like that of a âninety-year-old man.â I had an illness known as myocarditis. I still do not know to this day, with the constant blood samples they took, what truly caused this. To be honest, it really does not matter anymore. I was hospitalized for nine days, and for a week my prognosis was simply unknown. My cardiologist expected a stay that would last weeks, perhaps even months. She called the hospital just after I was released, and she was amazed to find I was gone, and she was almost scared it was premature. It was true, instead of being permanently disabled or receiving a heart transplant, I continued to recover and was declared fully recovered less than a year later.
And so the thoughts began. For the next few nights I spent at home, in my own bed, no beeping, no nurses, no drugs being pumped in through intravenous lines, I could not help but wonder. Sometimes I questioned why I was saved, whereas another patient my age in Bakersfield was hospitalized for two years. Am I really that worth it? As I pondered this, it occurred to me that it did not matter. I was being preached to that it was a miracle and that God saved me, and so forth. I cannot believe anything except for my own feelings on the matter, and I have discovered that all that matters is to do something with what you have. Life cannot be lived by wasting away as an uneaten apple would, nor can it be lived as a squirrel dancing across a busy street, putting one in harmâs way until he/she is extinguished forever. Instead of worrying, or trying to live my life like I will die tomorrow, I am going to live my life like I will die an old man with a family, and that family will be well supported. Ultimately, my goal is to not simply exist like a stone created by Meursaultâs ashes, but to plan for the future, to live for the future, to realize my decisions now will create the path that is ahead of me. There is no fate, we create our fate, we live it, and believe it was there all along.
Certain things are necessary in life, and I try to adhere to the necessary attributes in my life, a life that has just begun. One of the necessities is humor, in any shape or form, anything that makes one laugh. Nothing makes anyone feel better than to give a good joke, no matter how stupid it is, if it creates a smile it has done its job. I have my friends, I have my life, what is there to do but laugh? What is left except for largest step I will ever take, into college life to develop and fix the photo in one swift motion? What do I want to do? I want to help people, I want to stop criminals, perhaps this can be done by attaining a degree in psychology or biology and working in forensics. I want to capture life, I want people to see the world through my eyes, and perhaps this means I should be a photographer. I want to declare my thoughts, express my imagination, and so should I be a writer? Not only do I want to do these things, I will do these things, no matter the obstacle. People like to stop and spend years removing the obstacle, instead of moving on and avoiding it like a running back in football or an Olympic hurdler.
These are my feelings, my brief thoughts, the basis of my life. There are obviously more complexities, and I write about it all the time. I can carry on conversations for hours with friends, and some of the most inspirational and amazing things can be said, such as analogies and allegories, quotes to be remembered, true revelations on life. âOne man may stay in the back of the restaurant, waiting for a free handout, while the other steps through the front door, sits down, and is offered a $20 meal on the house. He stares at it for a moment, and instead of having a relaxing dinner, he gets up and walks away.â My friend and I thought of this as a metaphor for how some people approach the opposite sex. I have seen it in so many other contexts, sometimes just as life in general. Most of us live this way, either we wait for life to hand us whatever it offers, or we try to seize the opportunity, but then we do something to lose it without realizing nor appreciating the real gift we had. One could say that I want my life to be different, and I will try. There is no end for my near future, my life will continue to grow, to improve, to work for the benefit of others until the inevitable end comes, the credits of the movie to be read. Do not walk out of the theater just because you do not like the first few minutes of the movie, you never know what will happen next.