02-26-2004, 07:09 AM
freefall, face it: you are on this girl's 'friends' list. you are a gf to her w/ a penis. she doesn't want to make out with you or date you cause she's getting what she wants from you without the work of putting out. namely, you are sensitive to her problems, you listen to her and try to cheer her up when she's feeling down. you boost her self esteem and confidence and that is all she really wants from you...and the worst part is it doesn't matter how good-looking you are. you are a nice guy and nice guys don't get the tounge action. she's going to make out with an asshat who doesn't respect her because she wants to gain that (percieved) admiration and self-worth as a woman regardless of means. you can't make the jump from being her close friend, brother or on-call psychiatrist to being her lover. you will just look like a fool...she may even laugh about you to her gf's...she's probably laughing about you right now.
do yourself a favor: next time she calls you up and wants to talk about her problems, tell her your busy or better yet, let the machine pick up and don't return her phone calls for a while. when she finally gets in touch with you, you make it clear (without stating as such directly cause then you will look like you care anyways) you are not interested in her problems and that she doesn't deserve any special attention from you (even if you feel otherwise)...in other words, act disinterested and talk (monopolize the time, interrupt her in mid-sentence with something irrelavent if you have to...that's serious brownie points btw) about other things you are interested in. then one of two things will happen: she will begin to wonder why you don't put her on a pedestal anymore and it will tap into her curiosity and lack of self-esteem and she may chase you...then you are in control...but don't go into mr. nice guy mode until she gives you the booty. it's that simple. or she just never saw you 'that way' and never cared for you anyhow and you won't see her again. either way, it's a lot better than the 'let's just be friends' mode...which, by far, is the worst mode to be in with a girl you are attracted to. if you want my advice, you are most likely better off taking a mulligan on this one and forgetting about her.
see, men have only one list with regards to women: the 'girls i would do' list and this english fox is high on that list. women have two lists for men: the 'let's just be friends' list and the 'guys that can do me' list. she knows she is high on your list (especially after you asked her on a date which wasn't a good move btw) and she will use that to her advantage. she will get from you the self-confidence to grab the men on her 'guys that can do me' list by placing you high on her 'let's just be friends' list. she played you dude...sorry.
and don't get depressed about any of this. it's certaintly not about how you look or anything, so take comfort in that. just learn from it and be yourself. that's key. if you are blushing all over her and throwing truly undeserved affection towards her...she will read desperation and phoniness and use you like the succubus she is. when you develop a crush on a girl, you have to play it cool and make yourself number one....you are your own top priority and it all...all revolves around you...it's about what you want, not what she or anybody else wants. the chicks see that air of confidence, charisma, self respect and power and they will want you to notice them. and they will do things for you...things that you'll like ;-) . and you may even begin to like yourself more in the process.
sorry for rambling, but i hate to see yet another 'nice guy' get dissed. i'm not saying become an asshat. although you will be guaranteed to get laid as an asshat, you will be selling yourself out and not be getting the sort of women you'll respect and truly cherish. be yourself, realize who is numbero uno and don't let lust or pseudo-romanticism distort who you are. when i see 'nice guys' fawning over some hottie that they won't ever ever get any action from (again, nothing to do with their looks or appearance...although it's funnier with ugly guys...lol)...i laugh because they are not men, they are puppy-dogs...and puppies are funny^_^. anyways, this is the last i will ever speak on this topic...i'm no missionary but it's just sad that suckers aka 'nice guys' are born every minute.
do yourself a favor: next time she calls you up and wants to talk about her problems, tell her your busy or better yet, let the machine pick up and don't return her phone calls for a while. when she finally gets in touch with you, you make it clear (without stating as such directly cause then you will look like you care anyways) you are not interested in her problems and that she doesn't deserve any special attention from you (even if you feel otherwise)...in other words, act disinterested and talk (monopolize the time, interrupt her in mid-sentence with something irrelavent if you have to...that's serious brownie points btw) about other things you are interested in. then one of two things will happen: she will begin to wonder why you don't put her on a pedestal anymore and it will tap into her curiosity and lack of self-esteem and she may chase you...then you are in control...but don't go into mr. nice guy mode until she gives you the booty. it's that simple. or she just never saw you 'that way' and never cared for you anyhow and you won't see her again. either way, it's a lot better than the 'let's just be friends' mode...which, by far, is the worst mode to be in with a girl you are attracted to. if you want my advice, you are most likely better off taking a mulligan on this one and forgetting about her.
see, men have only one list with regards to women: the 'girls i would do' list and this english fox is high on that list. women have two lists for men: the 'let's just be friends' list and the 'guys that can do me' list. she knows she is high on your list (especially after you asked her on a date which wasn't a good move btw) and she will use that to her advantage. she will get from you the self-confidence to grab the men on her 'guys that can do me' list by placing you high on her 'let's just be friends' list. she played you dude...sorry.
and don't get depressed about any of this. it's certaintly not about how you look or anything, so take comfort in that. just learn from it and be yourself. that's key. if you are blushing all over her and throwing truly undeserved affection towards her...she will read desperation and phoniness and use you like the succubus she is. when you develop a crush on a girl, you have to play it cool and make yourself number one....you are your own top priority and it all...all revolves around you...it's about what you want, not what she or anybody else wants. the chicks see that air of confidence, charisma, self respect and power and they will want you to notice them. and they will do things for you...things that you'll like ;-) . and you may even begin to like yourself more in the process.
sorry for rambling, but i hate to see yet another 'nice guy' get dissed. i'm not saying become an asshat. although you will be guaranteed to get laid as an asshat, you will be selling yourself out and not be getting the sort of women you'll respect and truly cherish. be yourself, realize who is numbero uno and don't let lust or pseudo-romanticism distort who you are. when i see 'nice guys' fawning over some hottie that they won't ever ever get any action from (again, nothing to do with their looks or appearance...although it's funnier with ugly guys...lol)...i laugh because they are not men, they are puppy-dogs...and puppies are funny^_^. anyways, this is the last i will ever speak on this topic...i'm no missionary but it's just sad that suckers aka 'nice guys' are born every minute.