04-01-2004, 08:01 PM
Slip her some heavy metals (like lead, mercury, etc) every day, then by the time she's old enough to date, she'll be so brain dead (literally) she'll have to stay home under constant supervision to stay alive, and will be too stupid to feel pain or act on hormonal urges. Not only that, but you'll get to feed her, bathe her, dress her, all that stuff you used to do when she was a baby. As an added bonus, there won't be any lip or rebelious actions. Could being overprotective get any easier than that?
I'd make a brochure, but I know somebody would take it seriously, and a jury of morons would award them all my money.
I'd make a brochure, but I know somebody would take it seriously, and a jury of morons would award them all my money.