04-21-2004, 07:11 PM
I gotta disagree PIX. I know lots of people still have an old fashioned view that hitting, particularly spanking and using a switch, is a simple negative reinforcer (i.e. do this, they won't do that again). It's not just a simple trauma like getting beat will affect someone for the rest of their life... it's that physical abuse at a young enough age will cross some wires, and enough abuse can have lasting effects. I'm expecting responses similar to what I get when I've said drugs at certain ages cause problems later on... people will say "not for me!" or something like that... so my disclaimer is I'm not saying that one spanking is gonna destroy someone's life, it probably won't do much at all... but the more the abuse exists (the hell is the difference between a switch and spanking from any other abuse, aside from being milder?), the more likelihood of future problems. Also, if you beat someone into submission, you may have yourself a wuss that will do anything the parent wants, but they'll be a wuss for other situations, and won't stand up for themselves... wonderful thing to teach.
Next, realize that if you raise someone correctly from the start, then discipline shouldn't require such harsh measures. Obviously kids are gonna do things even if they are raised well... such as smoking or something... although at the age where someone would start smoking, I'd say taking away phone/internet priveleges, grounding, and even forcing something like community service would be pretty good. Otherwise, if you wanna smoke, you're gonna smoke. I think one needs to shift their parenting too... you cannot continue some kind of authoritarian style throughout adolescence too, it pisses us off. And it does NOTHING... trust me, I know, I'm still within that age range of adolescence, as are all of my friends. Physical, vocal, mental abuse are all useless... the best is authoritative, where you don't command and yell, you talk it out... the reason is because adolescents are starting to become equals in terms of state of mind, we can think for ourselves.
Any form of physical abuse is absolutely unnecessary and potentially harmful if done too much. There are better negative reinforcers out there. And in fact, use positive reinforcers instead... how about rewarding when good instead of going insanely mad when someting bad happens? I know parents (not mine) who ignore it when their kids do something good, or at least are not enthusiastic about it, and instead try to concentrate on the bad (finding negatives even in the good). That's what we call bullshit and ineffective.
Next, realize that if you raise someone correctly from the start, then discipline shouldn't require such harsh measures. Obviously kids are gonna do things even if they are raised well... such as smoking or something... although at the age where someone would start smoking, I'd say taking away phone/internet priveleges, grounding, and even forcing something like community service would be pretty good. Otherwise, if you wanna smoke, you're gonna smoke. I think one needs to shift their parenting too... you cannot continue some kind of authoritarian style throughout adolescence too, it pisses us off. And it does NOTHING... trust me, I know, I'm still within that age range of adolescence, as are all of my friends. Physical, vocal, mental abuse are all useless... the best is authoritative, where you don't command and yell, you talk it out... the reason is because adolescents are starting to become equals in terms of state of mind, we can think for ourselves.
Any form of physical abuse is absolutely unnecessary and potentially harmful if done too much. There are better negative reinforcers out there. And in fact, use positive reinforcers instead... how about rewarding when good instead of going insanely mad when someting bad happens? I know parents (not mine) who ignore it when their kids do something good, or at least are not enthusiastic about it, and instead try to concentrate on the bad (finding negatives even in the good). That's what we call bullshit and ineffective.