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RICOCHET: A Clan History
#14
During my eventful tenure in iQ, I was lucky enough to encounter a more “eclectic” group of individuals. One such of these individuals included a player by the name of acidhead. After a few encounters with said persona, I quickly came to one, simple conclusion. This guy was one of the biggest morons I had ever met over the internet. Naturally, we became fast friends. Now, another of these outlandish and eccentric characters was Gwarsbane. While his name offered nowhere near the defining details of acid’s, it held its own puzzles and dilemmas. What was a gwarsbane? Why did I care? This conundrum stretched on in a paradoxical loop that, in true rws fashion, I simply forgot about.

These two were like, well, acid_head and Gwarsbane. They simply did not click. Watching them interact was uncomfortable and emotionally upsetting, paralleling that moment when you realized you’ve been living a lie because Paris Hilton is neither a natural blonde nor does she actually have blue eyes. Acid and Gwar fought many a battle, some so epic in scope that only a work rivaling the Bible and Iliad could do them justice. Actually, I think just about that amount was written on the subject, but luckily for you, I am too lazy to go through the various volumes of material.

Inevitably, this bitter rivalry came to climax on the morning of June 2, 2003. I, myself, had awoken that morning at 4:00 AM in a sweat, a shiver of gut-wrenching proportions transpiring through my body. The very air had an unwelcoming sneer to it, each gasp being a physical labor that brought me closer to the brink of exhaustion. Something sinister was approaching, and I knew something had to be done. My mind began to race at a frantic and frenetic pace, why was I being so redundant? Why was I awake at 4 AM? I promptly leapt into action as I passed out on the floor, face angled for maximum exposure to the elements. By the sun’s rise I had forgotten the incident, and life was good. My how ignorance blankets us in complete bliss.

It was then that I, curious about the world around me, played an innocent game of ricochet. Filled with wonder and intrigue, I ventured forth onto the server. I had seen the fruit of temptation, and now it was time to taste. However, such feelings of new-found joy never last, and as soon as my feet hit the pad, I knew something was wrong. I couldn’t quite pin point the source of my uneasiness, even looking around I saw nothing to justify my worries, but still, I just couldn’t shake this feeling of foreboding. So I kept careful vigil, hoping I wouldn’t be taken unaware. It was then that the pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place, bringing us closer to the brink of the abyss. That’s right, acid_head had joined the server. Alone this would be no cause for worry, but earlier events, that I will outline later, had lined up the pins. It was then that it happened, Gwarsbane joined the server. My eyes squinted as I questioned whether to take immediate leave, or stick around for hilarity’s sake. I think we all know what I decided to do. Things quickly escalated, culminating in Exhibit A:

L 06/02/2003 - 01:00:40: "[*RiP*]_Acid_Head_<715><128083><715>" say "yand deserves a 600 minute ban"
L 06/02/2003 - 01:00:43: "[*RiP*]_Acid_Head_<715><128083><715>" say "right gwar?"
L 06/02/2003 - 01:00:45: "[*RiP*]_Acid_Head_<715><128083><715>" say "you jackass"
L 06/02/2003 - 01:00:55: "Gwarsbane<717><43118><717>" say "ok ACID thats it your gone"
L 06/02/2003 - 01:00:59: "[*RiP*]_Acid_Head_<715><128083><715>" say "hahahaha"
L 06/02/2003 - 01:01:02: "[*RiP*]_Acid_Head_<715><128083><715>" say "again"

Drama. After acid’s expulsion from Grits’ servers, the forums erupted in flames as various factions fought for positioning in the aftermath of the onslaught. Villages were pillaged, crops were burned, and a lot of boring stuff was written that I never read. However, certain comments could not fail to catch the eye, I’ll give you the sports highlights.

Quote:Someone's awful thinskinned today I see.  …I thought that Acid wanted us to forget about him so he could go about his life.

Getting mad at dozens of comments? Unthinkable! Take note, boys and girls, you have to get mad after the first negative statement. And you thought you wouldn’t learn anything today. Here’s another user’s insightful input, I’ll give you two quotes for added accuracy.

Quote:I WILL BELIEVE GWARS OVER YOU ANY DAY OF THE WEEK SO EITHER FOLLOW THE RULES OR STOP PLAYING THE GAME. JUST STOP THE ***I'm Stupid for Swearing***ING

Quote:i said "that is ***I'm Stupid for Swearing***" in IRC and he warned me and im sick of his goodie 2 shoes policing bullshit so i said so and he banned me.

Indeed, the battles were bloody, and I lost many a friend in that haunting massacre. Now, to look at the catalyst of this devastating event, we need to go back nearly a month, to the night of May 12, 2003. I shall now present Exhibit B:

L 05/12/2003 - 02:24:58: "[*RiP*]_Acid_Head_<739><128083><739>" say "iryiciayad,sjbmtoherhfucvjekr"

I know what you’re thinking. “Wow, acid’s typing has really improved, I can almost read what he’s saying now.” Alas, this was written under the influence, which improved his skill as a typist exponentially. I would post more of the log, but apparently it was lost in the Great Flood of 2004, this is all that remains of that precious material. As we have all extrapolated, this does indeed say “I r a her, jekr.” I can only assume acid misspelled jerk. Through expert testimony, he has told me that he did indeed have 1 or 2 beers, and remembers very little from that night. So based off the witness account of no one, I shall now rebuild the night in question.

Acid, arriving at his apartment on a recently stolen bike (being the responsible adult he is, he realized he was too drunk to drive), knew he was at the height of his game thanks to the wonder that is alcohol. Subsequently, he quickly joined Grits’ arena server. He could only look on in horror as he realized his grave mistake. There stood Gwarsbane, nemesis extraordinaire, staring him down with steely eyes of steeliness. Recoiling in disgust, acid knew that only a gentleman’s duel could slay this intimidating beast. Following proper procedure, they engaged in pre-insult exchange. This eventually came to a crescendo when Gwarsbane laid down judgment, “YOU DARE DEFY ME? I AM THE LAW!” Acid, strengthening his resolve, parried, “Grits should move the server to Germany, 1937 so you’d feel right at home, gwar.” Gwarsbane, being the gentleman that he is, commended acid on his well-timed retort, “Impressive, I must say that was quite the broad side attack.” Acid, able to take a compliment, “You flatter me. It’s simply a common reiteration of an even more common insult.” Gwarsbane, perfectly in stride with the ways of the cavalier, simply stated, “Ah, but its execution was flawless. Now, where were we?”

“Bannings and what not.” It was at this point that acid passed out on his keyboard, creating a pool of drool that later forced him to buy a new keyboard. Luckily for us, before he did so, his head happened to roll in such a way as to create a secret message that only the most astute of observers would notice. That’s right, iryiciayad,sjbmtoherhfucvjekr. Gwarsbane, master cryptologist, leapt into action as he quickly transferred it to 3 of his buddies down at the bureau. They confirmed the worst of his fears. Acid had indeed tried to camouflage the statement, “I r a her, jekr.” Gwarsbane was outraged, “CALL ME A JERK? THIS ENDS NOW!” Thus, [*RiP*]_Acid_Head_ was banned for 600 minutes, tipping the domino line that eventually led to his permanent ban. Ricochet has never been the same.

I'll write more at a later date, but I'd just like to say one thing. We look at the stars so that we may see the grains of sand, enjoy.
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Messages In This Thread
RICOCHET: A Clan History - by CloudFuel - 06-10-2005, 09:37 AM
RICOCHET: A Clan History - by Quickening - 06-10-2005, 10:35 AM
RICOCHET: A Clan History - by Miagi - 06-10-2005, 11:00 AM
RICOCHET: A Clan History - by GRITS - 06-10-2005, 11:33 AM
RICOCHET: A Clan History - by Gragoon - 06-10-2005, 01:28 PM
RICOCHET: A Clan History - by Guest - 06-12-2005, 06:42 AM
RICOCHET: A Clan History - by MaGoo. - 07-26-2005, 09:38 PM
RICOCHET: A Clan History - by smartass - 07-26-2005, 10:32 PM
RICOCHET: A Clan History - by GRITS - 08-01-2005, 08:31 AM
RICOCHET: A Clan History - by _Acid_Head_ - 08-02-2005, 05:46 AM
RICOCHET: A Clan History - by RuNnInG_wIth_ScISsOrS - 08-17-2005, 11:25 PM
RICOCHET: A Clan History - by _Acid_Head_ - 08-17-2005, 11:47 PM
RICOCHET: A Clan History - by GRITS - 08-18-2005, 12:15 AM
RICOCHET: A Clan History - by Gragoon - 08-18-2005, 06:35 AM
RICOCHET: A Clan History - by Squish - 08-18-2005, 07:13 PM

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