For the first time in a very long time, I actually felt something. I don't know how many of you are familiar with Pink Floyd but the one quote i found described me the best was "Comfotably numb". I have recently found this to be false. Everything has been really f'ed up lately but something happened within this near future that changed it all. I found her. we've been friends for a while but i've never quite seen what's been there the entire time. Until now I've lived a life of solitaire. blocked off from anyone and everyone. She is the first person to get me to say anything. My life is pretty f'ed up and I finally found someone that I can be with, she's leaving very soon now. I dunno what I'll do after that. I was hanging out with her tonight. . and really got thinking. I don't know why i'm making this post, I guess it's because none of you will ever know me and i can write how i feel without the worry of being known. I havn't really asked anything of her because i'm afraid of f *****g it all up. (I'm sorry I had a bit to drink tonight, that's why i'm swearing in so many of my posts tonight). I don't have too much to say other than, whathas already been said, I don't know what to do and I had to get a load off my mind and I figured the forums was the best place to do it. I told her tonight how I felt as well (in an e-mail) she has yet to get back to me.
Another note, before now i found no reason to be here i don't know how amny of you have tried this, but I have on more than one occason attempted suicide. I now see how f ***** stupid i was for trying this and see a reason to stay, becausew of this one person. Call me what you will make fun of me all you want for this post but you know what, I don't give a F ***. I felt something tonight for the first time in a long time and anything you say or do can't take that away from me.
Thank you all for having an open ear, I had to say somehting and didn't know where to put it.
(ps. edit the swearing if you want but please don't use emoticons [just somet wierd thing I have I guess, seeing as this is the second time I'm saying this])
Another note, before now i found no reason to be here i don't know how amny of you have tried this, but I have on more than one occason attempted suicide. I now see how f ***** stupid i was for trying this and see a reason to stay, becausew of this one person. Call me what you will make fun of me all you want for this post but you know what, I don't give a F ***. I felt something tonight for the first time in a long time and anything you say or do can't take that away from me.
Thank you all for having an open ear, I had to say somehting and didn't know where to put it.
(ps. edit the swearing if you want but please don't use emoticons [just somet wierd thing I have I guess, seeing as this is the second time I'm saying this])
